Sadly the reality is not as glamorous. 

Yes there are bars, restaurants, galleries and boutiques.  No you can’t go whenever you want. 

The reasons are simple.  I have to work.  Things cost money. Things you want to do are often closed when your not working.

I’m not complaining.  I get paid more than average. I have a great apartment in a great part of town. I get to live the “lifestyle” I always wanted.

I am not living a utopian party life though either.  I have large overheads, can’t get a park near my apartment block on weekends (when I can I have to pay), most things are closed by the time I have finished work.

Its a trade off.  Living in the city is great.  Its expensive and you have to work to pay for it but its worthwhile.

The question is; Can it be sustained for a long period of time?

But mostly you only run into people who have an element of beauty.

The other day there was a woman who had it all.  She was gorgeous and every person, man and woman, who passed her was drawn to her.

I know this, not because I walked past her, but because she was walking just behind me and to the side.  In a pure coincidence as I walked out of my office building she was walking by.

I did see her as I came out and thought to myself “Jeesus she is gorgeous” and kept walking. 

It was the most amazing thing to watch every set of eyes divert off to my left as we walked up the street.

People were drawn towards her.  Men who had started well off to my right hand side veered wildly across the street towards this woman.

At time I had to skip out of the way of people to avoid being knocked over.  They simply stared at her.  soaked in her beauty.

I kept adjusting my pace to try and draw level with this woman but to no avail.  She was always just abck and to my left.

In my first year in the CBD I think that I may have met too many people.  In particular too many women. 

My apartment is nice.  It over looks the markets and out towards the docklands.  My room has a large terrace and all in all its a fairly impressive place to live.

What I have realized is that, coupled with my great looks and personality (snort), my apartment has gotten me into a sticky situation with women.

I supposed really its my own fault.  Casual dating it would seem is not as casual as the name suggests and the propensity for hurt feelings has made me feel very crappy indeed.

Did I do something wrong?  For the first time in my life I can’t really answer a simple yes or no.  Sadly I think the answer is maybe.  Maybe I should have been more clear cut.  Maybe I should have broken it off sooner.  Maybe I shouldn’t have been so judgemental about life choices.

Maybe I feel guilty because I didn’t let myself use my mind for it is for and instead thought we were all having fun.

Now I want a serious relationship but I feel guilty about what happened before.

For anyone living under a rock ANOTHER group of Australian footballers have gang raped women while drunk.  This time its not super stars but suburban “boys”.

Below is a piece I wrote that I think highlights how these problems have come about.

Australia needs to wake up to itself.  Among the “developed” nations of the world we stand out as being one of the few that still tolerates anti social behaviour among its sportsmen.

In America and Britain the multi-millionaire footballers regularly are sacked, fined and jailed for their anti-social behaviour.  In Australia they are traded to new clubs and given a higher salary.

It is a nonsense for Australian football codes to continually talk about how they will not tolerate violence against women when they clearly do tolerate violence against both women and men.

Brendon Fevola, in the words of AFL die hard Neil Mitchell, was “at the very least, sexually harassing and arguably assaulting and intimidating a female journalist.”

Fevola’s punishment for this act, just one of many reprehensible acts, amid a night of booze fuelled intimidation and lechery?  A $10,000 club fine and a trade to the sunny climes of Brisbane. 

The story wasn’t made public until after the trade and no charges were laid because the woman involved was “encouraged” to remain silent in exchange for an exclusive newspaper story!

Sadly all that Carlton president Stephen Kernahan could say was he hoped Fevola’s move to Brisbane would provide “an opportunity for him to continue his career in a new environment.”

Compare this to the case of Marlon King, also a star forward for his club, from Wigan Athletic in the English Premier League.

King was accused of “disgusting sexual advances” and assault following an “incident” in a London night club.  The story was immediately broken in the press, King was arrested and charged, suspended by his club and faced trial.

On the 30^th of October King was sentenced to 18 months in prison and was sacked by his club.  He will be unable to sign a new contract with another club until after both his prison sentence and his previous contract would have expired.  He is unlikely to play again at any level and certainly not at the top level.

In the words of Wigan chairman Dave Whelan, “He has set such a bad example to our young players coming through. I’m sure he deserved it.”

In the US numerous sports “stars” have been sacked and jailed for their part in crimes.  Most recently Micheal Vick spent 23 months in prison for his part in a dog fighting ring.  He was also sacked and fined by the NFL.

Sadly in Australia our sporting culture places these criminals above average citizens.  We praise their sporting skills and ignore their transgressions as “too much drink” or over exuberance then give them symbolic slaps on the wrist.

This in turn sets the example to young men in the community that as long as they play sport their off field crimes will be forgiven. 

The reality is that the young men who are accused of committing heinous crimes at Philip Island in October were given the example that you won’t be severly punished for something you do at an offield sporting event as long as your drunk and surrounded by footy people.  The AFL has set that example.

It is too late for Andrew Demetriou to come out in the Herald Sun and decry violence against women, for Neil Mitchell to ostrecise these young men as an abomination or anomaly.  They are not an anomaly.  They are the product of a culture that says its ok to do as you please so long as you are a sports “star”.

Until we sack, fine and jail our criminal sports stars like they do in the rest of the world we will continue to have these horrible knock on effects.  We may need to learn to stop being so shocked.

Instead I’m writing about living in the CBD of Melbourne.  I have been in the city for a year now and I feel well qualified to make random observations, scathing criticisims and witty remarks about the people and things I stumble across.

Which leads me to my first topic:  Morons who wander the streets of the CBD like cattle grazing through the high country.

We live and work here tourist.  Get out of the way!

Its a question of manners.  I don’t come to your neighbourhood and wander about aimlessly gawking at your McMansions and 8 car garages bumping into you as you try and make your way to work. 

If you have to be city tourist please follow these simple guidlines;

1.  Don’t come between 7:45am and 9:15am or 4:45pm and 6:15pm.  We are going to work or going home at those times people.  We are determined.  We are bored.  We don’t want to be picking our way around slack jawed nincompoops.  If your coming for dinner stop being a putz and book a table after 7pm like everyone else.

2.  Don’t have lunch at a tiny cafe in a grungy alleyway.  Monday to Friday we have to wear suits and talk to wankers about how crap everything is now because of the GFC and to top it off  we never cared about all that economics guff to begin with.  The highlight of our miserable corporate lives is the lunch hour where we can go and eat real food from psudo-real people.  EXCEPT when the bagel place is choked with tourists who thing that a bagel is some rare and exotic pork dish.

3.  Escalators are not theme park rides.  Move your cankles up and down.  Also if there is a group of you (I know your all scared we are going to rob, rape, beat, stab, glass, spit on and lick you) try and leave space for people who can remember how to walk to get past you.  There is no need to ball together like a hedgehog on the highway.  Remember a balled up hedgehog gets squished while the aware hedgehog gets out of the way and gets to go back to his hole in the ground.

4.  I know the city is a big and confusing place (well actually its really very small compared to anywhere else and its a square.  You know turn right 4  times and you end up in the place you started from???) but even so there is no need to cluster in the middle of the footpath on the cnr of Bourke and Elizabeth st, the cnr of Bourke and Swanston, the cnr of…. well you get the idea.  People actually walk on the footpaths in the city.  That’s what they are for.  Turns out we have cafes and restaurants and bars and parks ect ect ect where you can lounge around and meet people.  If you have to wait on the cnr then try to step back against the building.  Its not likely that a cinder block will fall and crush you but hey if it does its great luck right?  Or is that birdshit?

Thats all of my Tips for Urban tourists for one day.  The key message is; GET OUT OF THE WAY…..Oh and love thy neighbour or something.